After school today, I met my young nieces and my sister at Target. While carting my two oldest nieces around in a wagon, I noticed many other people shopping with small children. I have never seen that many kids in Target before. I guess either four pm happens to be a hot time for moms to go shopping, or being with the nieces caused me to notice other children. Not entirely sure which.
Watching moms interact with their children can be fascinating...and painful. I hate seeing the screamers; a mother screaming at her child for one reason or another. It makes me cringe and want to shake her: no matter what your child has done, don't scream at them - that's simply awful, and you are killing your child's heart.
Not so painful, but very annoying is the lax mommy. This woman is extremely permissive and easy-going; she lets her child run around and create havoc in the store, making everybody else's life miserable. She generally gives her kid whatever the heck he wants. Related to lax mommy is the badgered mother. She is a slave to her own children's whims. Her kids often bring out the alligator tears and throw tantrums to bully their mom into giving them what they want. And how can you blame the kids? They are smart to act exactly how mom has taught them to behave; cry enough, and mommy will give in.
If I had to write a book on raising children, I think I would use three words: boundaries, consistency, and spankings. Of course, I think that a "darn-good spanking" will do the trick almost every time. Spanking is infinitely better than screaming - if done with love (and not angrily), spanking gives the child a tangible sense of consequences for wrongdoing, and in practice, makes them much happier than before being spanked.
I hate to harp on this, but screaming is horrible (just thought of mothers yelling and dragging their child by the arm is like bright red fingernails on a squeaky chalkboard); it confuses the child, it scars them, and it brings the parent down to the level of the child.
Of course, it is incredibly easy for me to observe and denounce. The thought of being accountable for the life of a little person, of having responsibility of a child's heart mind and soul is staggering. Just plain scary. I cannot imagine when I will be ready to assume that type of responsibility. All this mommy talk made me think that motherhood is so undervalued these days. We think so little of this vocation.
My sister was a public school teacher before she had her daughters. After her third child, someone told her she had it easy staying home all the time and not having a real job. My sister was slightly annoyed. "It would be much easier for me to teach school - my job of training and teaching my daughters is very real, and it is not an 8 - hour day job. It lasts 24/7." I honestly cannot think of anything more important than raising children well - my hat is off to my sister and other women like her who spend all of their time raising their children.
Ugh I dislike screaming children too! I completely agree that a kid screaming at Target is because their parent's have not corrected that behavior in the past and just let it happen all the time. Naturally, a little kid is going to think its okay to do because they get what they want! It irritates me to no end.
ReplyDeleteI also agree on your parenting mantra. A spanking will straighten any kid out!
Oi, you think screaming children in the store are bad? Wait until the first airplane you get into where some genius of a woman decides it's okay to bring an infant on board.
ReplyDeleteThat kind of piercing wail just grates on a person's nerves firstly, and secondly you feel bad for the kid because that scream is out of pain; the change in air pressure is something the child doesn't know how to respond to (a.k.a. popping one's ears by swallowing for example) and so it just builds up. Eventually, it gets really painful, hence the scream.
Yeah, spankings should only be given out by the mother I think. When the dad does it, that's just plain terrifying to the child, especially since the dad is usually not as nurturing a figure as a mom. Plus, most spankings should be because the kid does something that endangers their lives. Other than that...I think a person should be very careful not to spank their child too much.
Haha - being on plane...that does sound miserable. I think spanking all depends on the child...my two sisters and my brother and I weren't spanked that much as kids, but my middle sister and my youngest brother got tons of spankings (from both parents) because they were by far the most rebellious, and they are both very happy, unscarred people (my sister's a lawyer, and my little brother's a straight A student). So it pretty much depends on what the kids needs. Sometimes I don't think I was spanked enough as a child :).
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